TAM

Over at Macworld, well-known TidBits editor Adam C. Engst bravely takes a stab at the six worst Apple products ever. Here's his take:

1. Macintosh IIvi and IIvx
2. Macintosh TV
3. Pippin
4. Power Macintosh 4400
5. Twentieth Anniversary Mac
6. Apple [hockey puck] USB Mouse

Any of those sound unfamiliar? Head to the article for details and links. My quick adds:

The IIvi? Hey, I almost bought one of those – I think it was that CD-ROM drive (and the reasonably modest price) that had me salivating. I ended with a PowerMac 6100AV instead. But anyway:

The Pippin? Never owned one, just played with one in a store – when it wasn't crashed. My memories of the Pippin in stores is basically that of a Netscape browser covered by a "Mac bomb" crash error. Moving on:

The 4400? Didn't own one of those, fortunately. I saw them in action, and they truly felt tinny and cheap. This had to be the epitome of the machines that had Steve Jobs cringing upon his return. Next:

The TAM? The TAM? Oh, all right, it does merit inclusion, based on that original price. But at the later blowout price, it was... well, that unique blend of unfortunate and awesome that is the Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh. But hey, this was totally new to me:

Within a year, Apple had knocked the price down to $1,995, placating people who had paid more by giving them gifts of high-end PowerBooks

Really? Never heard that. Anyone have info on that?

And finally:

The hockey puck mouse? Seems to make everybody's list for worst Apple product ever, though it didn't halt the iMac's stunning success. Might make my worst list, too, if I ever used one. (Confession: I want one from the green iMac, to complement my Key lime iBook. Even if it just sits there and I don't have to make contact with its suspect ergonomics.)

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The Macintosh was born on January 24, 1984 – a quarter century ago. What does Apple have planned to commemorate the birthday?

Nothing, it would seem, as the day arrives and passes without comment from Apple. It's not like the company hasn't celebrated an anniversary before: the Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh marked 20 years of Apple (if not the Mac itself). While housing some disappointments within its gorgeous bronze body, the machine was nonethless amazing, distinctive, and a testimony to Apple's groundbreaking industrial design. (You're just a click away from the web's most extensive overview of the Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh, so enjoy!)

Why no similar project to mark the Mac's 25th? I can't speak a word on behalf of Apple or the Be-turtlenecked One. I can only offer this conjecture from the peanut gallery:

Apple no longer needs to step beyond its everyday products and build one-off, "what if" concepts. At the Apple of 2009, every shipping product is an idealized showpiece – like those sleek, impossible concept cars at the auto shows, only real.

The Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh said "here's what we could build if we weren't churning out the faceless bland Performas that the market demands". The modern Mac says "this is the most marvelous thing that we or anyone can build and ship, period – and we're betting that the market will love it". It's a bet that the company is winning. 

Apple can't surprise us with hidden genius on the occasion of this anniversary, because Steve Jobs made it the company's mission to inject that genius into every shipping product. How can the company go "up" from the brilliant iMac, iPhone, iPod, and MacBooks? Nothing held back means there's nothing saved for "special" products.

Apple's special anniversary treat for us is the same brilliant ideas and execution it's always been offering, and constantly improving upon, especially for the last decade. Here on its big birthday, the just-as-it-is Mac is far more exciting than any one-shot concept model could be. And that's something for both Apple and its customers to celebrate.

Attention! A reader has an old TAM that won't power up. He asks whether there are any shops currently performing TAM repair or are interested in buying a TAM for parts. 

I came across an interesting online discussion at Apple Fritter, offering one possible fix (internal reset button) for a TAM that won't power up. It'd be great if that fixed the reader's problem!

I don't know any repair shops currently offering TAM service; I've seen some old links on old TAM sites, which are now dead. I would search for any and all shops offering Mac repair, and inquire whether they can fix a TAM, or whether they'd buy for parts. (Regarding parts, there's always the eBay option. I know many people look for TAMs on eBay; they usually want working ones, but there could be someone looking for a dead unit to cannibalize.)

Hmm, a really dedicated do-it-yourselfer could get hold of a PowerMac/Performa 5500, on whose motherboard the TAM is based, and scrounge parts from there. Naturally, I can't offer any guarantee that such a transplant is a good idea; it's an idea for the brave!

In any case, a question for all: Does anyone have info about shops offering TAM repair, vendors buying or selling TAM parts, or other advice about TAM troubleshooting? If so, please comment; I'd be happy to add good info to my Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh overview.

It may be hard to get your hands on a TAM, but that doesn't mean you can't see one in action. Enjoy this smorgasbord of TAM video delights:

Promo video

The original Apple TAM promo video.  Read more »

"Guest book"? No, this isn't 1997 again. Rather, I simply wonder who else out there has a TAM. What's your story? Do you still use the machine? What for? Does it still make visitors drool?

We really should have our own TAM Owner's Club! I'm now soliciting club names and ideas...Let's hear from you in the comments, wherever you are. 

(And if you don't have a TAM, but just want to share your fascination for this wonderful machine, I'd love to hear from you as well!)